...... I havn't felt like crying for so long since school started this year...
I worked so hard on my presentation for ICMT today. And with one word, Ms. Low disqualified my report...
The reason : No religion and No politics.
I for one did not know that.
Timothy did not know that.
Jawei did not know that.
Sonia did not know that.
May did not know that.
Coming from people who are most attentive in class, it just went to show that she did not specify this criteria clearly, or suggested it even.
I knew that there was something wrong when nobody did on political parties. But I attributed that to caution due to the fact that political parties are non-profit organizations and can be quite dry to study.
How on earth would I know that I can't do a presentation on Issues and Crisis in political parties?
It was not even specified in the project brief!
It just mentioned : "any organization"
And what is an organization?
A unit within a company or other entity (eg, Government agency or branch of service) within which many projects are managed as a whole. All projects within an organization share a common top-level manager and common policies.sparc.airtime.co.uk/users/wysywig/gloss.htm
with one glance, and a command, all my efforts went down the drain.
of course, its easy to say, "Oh! You can do a make-up presentation, either on friday or next monday."
its like saying to a worker who worked 30 years in a company :
"Oh! You can work in another company, I can help introduce you to another company!"
I did my report thoroughly with every ounce of my effort, like always, and I was confident that there was not a single loophold in my case study.
but nooo. I "missed" one. and that is NO POLITICS.
I had 15 slides, cramped full of articles, evidence, suggestions, and EVERYTHING that was needed.
I don't think anybody in class had anything close to that humongous amount of slides that I had.
I EVEN STUDIED SOMETHING THAT I HATED! - POLITICS!!
jeez! I went to research on all the political parties and forums to search for evidences of dissatisfaction, and clues that will back up my issue.
but nooo. every effort went to waste.
EVERY EFFORT WENT TO WASTE!!!
I could not retaliate, just give a weak smile, shrug my shoulders and go back to my seat.
for the next 2 presentations, Sharina's and JiaYing's, I just stared blankly.... absorbing nothing and just doing my best to fight back the tears.
ITS NOT AS EASY AS "DON'T THINK SO MUCH ALREADY, YOU HAVE ANOTHER CHANCE TO PRESENT ON FRIDAY! PARTICIPATE IN THE CLASS DISCUSSION!!"
as casually as possible.
I wanted to scream.
but I held my composure and complied. After all, I was brought up to always respect my superiors and do what they tell me to do to the point of breaking.
This ICA is 25% of your overall module marks.
Thats why I put in so much effort.
Thats why I dressed up so nicely
Thats why I tried so hard.
but no. Over a vague comment that politics and religion cannot be used, my entire presentation was discredited.
oh. I'll just go and do another 15 slides on ANOTHER case study.
find ANOTHER issue
find ANOTHER forum
find ANOTHER discussion board
do MORE research
do MORE powerpoint slides
do MORE content analysis
...
btw. that is what I DID for my presentation.
GET IT!!!
while my friends can relax for the next 3-5 days, I'll be working on ths report
GET IT!!!
coming Monday, I should be in a church camp.
GET IT!!!
you didnt even mentioned : "good work done" or "nice effort you put in" or "a pity your presentation will can't be graded, but its a good effort"
GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If there is one thing I hate most on earth, it is not being acknowledged for the EFFORT I PUT IN!!!!
fine. go ahead, if you even read my blog, I hope you go reflect on how much you have discouraged me and demolish the effort a student who has put in so much work in your module.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Expos(e) on the Dumb Irritating Article.
TUCKED away in a sleepy corner off the City Hall area and hidden among a row of run-down shophouses, the men's health club is hard to spot.
This is where Andy claimed he contracted the HIV virus after an orgy with four men.
The dull-looking entrance is dimly-lit by street lamps. One has to go really close to read the club's name as the sign on the door is about the size of a postcard.
Posed Picture: Mohd Ishak
The New Paper on Sunday team visited the club last weekend after some patrons told us about a 'themed party' being held there.
When we arrived at 1am, we saw two men coming out from a dark alley behind the club.
They walked towards a public carpark opposite and left in a car.
Then, another man got out from a car in the same carpark and walked towards the club. He made a few calls on his handphone before entering. We followed him inside.
Near the door, two good-looking and smartly dressed men were seated behind a counter. When we asked about the facilities, they mumbled softly that it was a men's club.
They declined to answer our other questions and simply stared at the empty counter space in front of them.
Another door next to the counter leads into the main premises. Through an opening on the door, we saw a few walking around topless with towels wrapped around their waists.
'PLEASE LEAVE'
We asked if we could go in to take a look.
'No, it's only for members,' said one of the counter staff. The other one mumbled softly: 'Can you please leave?'
A club member who had tipped us off later said: 'We have to put on towels when we are at the counter. But once inside, we'll drop our towels. This special party happens twice a month.
'It is an unspoken rule among members that once the lights come on, we should stop whatever we are doing. When this happens, it's likely that the police are there to inspect the premises.
'But this doesn't happen often.'
These illicit clubs advertise their services on the Internet. They also rely on members to bring in new patrons. Whenever a new club opens or an old one closes down, word gets around quickly, one member said.
When contacted, several of these clubs were hostile. While some declined comment, others simply slammed down the phone.
One operator even proclaimed: 'We are an exclusive club! We don't need any publicity!'
Police spokesman Siow Cheng Cheng said any individual or group that offers any form of public entertainment or massage services to the public must apply for a permit. The penalty for providing public entertainment without a licence is a maximum fine of $10,000.
It is illegal to conduct sexual activities in the premises. A licensing officer may suspend or cancel a licence if he believes the public entertainment for which it was issued has been or is likely to be indecent, immoral or offensive.
Under the law, it is considered an offence for a man to have sex with another man.
The maximum penalty is life imprisonment or 10 years' jail and a fine.
But there are other health clubs and spas who do legitimate business. And these operators feel the shady joints give the industry a bad name.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HIV TEST KITS WON'T STOP THEM FROM HAVING SEX
THOUGH HIV infections caused by homosexual transmission went down last year, they formed a higher percentage of the total number of infections.
Figures released by the Ministry of Health recently show that the number of infections caused by homosexual transmission dropped from 72 in 2004 to 63 last year.
But they formed about a quarter of the 255 HIV infections last year, a slightly higher percentage than the previous year.
In 2004, Dr Balaji Sadasivan, Senior Minister of State (Information, Communications and the Arts and Health) warned of an Aids epidemic in Singapore.
Last year, he also said in a forum that figures suggested that one in 25 gay men here is HIV-positive.
Yet, sexual activites go on uninhibited in unlicensed clubs and bathhouses, even though it is illegal.
These places provide OraQuick, a saliva-based HIV test kit. But results from these self-test kits can be misleading. For instance, if the test is done within three months of infection, it may not show up at all.
Many members also cannot be bothered to take the tests.
Andy said: 'It's always possible that one infected guy goes on to infect others in the club because he is angry and he wants to drag others in.'
The availability of test kits in the clubs creates a false impression that it is safe to have sex there, Andy added.
'Men go to these places with the intention of having sex, so having test kits doesn't really stop them.'
DANGEROUS
Mr Vanan Julian Pillay of Heat Consultants, which provides HIV/Aids education in workplaces, feels that individuals should be responsible for practising safe sex.
The 28-year-old programme executive said: 'It is unavoidable and unfortunate that activities of this nature take place in these places.
'Any form of sexual activity in any condition that doesn't allow for the use of protection is dangerous and must be avoided.
'The protection of our health is primarily our responsibility and we can't leave it to the authorities to impose restrictions and issue regulations. People engaging in sexual acts must take responsibility and must take all necessary precautions.'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Similar clubs banned in San Francisco
RAMPANT sex among gay men in bathhouses, especially in cities like San Francisco, was one of the main causes of the rise of Aids in the US.
The Aids epidemic, which took off in the 1980s, became so bad in San Francisco that the city's Department of Public Health eventually banned bathhouses.
Mr Randy Shilts, a gay journalist with the San Francisco Chronicle, was criticised by many gays for his reports on the promiscuous lifestyle of some gays, which contributed to the Aids epidemic. He died of Aids at the age of 42.
In 1987, San Francisco's last gay bathhouse, the 21st Street Baths, closed its doors for good.
Will the same thing happen here if such promiscuous behaviour persists in men's clubs here?
Said Mr Vanan Julian Pillay of Heat (HIV/Aids Education And Training): 'If people are going to have sex, they should practise safe sex.'
Said Andy, who claimed he contracted the HIV virus after having unprotected sex in health clubs: 'I feel that the Government should step in and do something.
'Closing the clubs may not stop the spread of Aids. But it will definitely help to slow it down.
'If the Government can ban Nation and other gay parties because it thinks that they promote gay sex, how can it turn a blind eye to these men's clubs? The parties are held only once a year, but these clubs are open every day.'
******
Yah. Found the stupid article finally.
anyway, the more I read this article the more irritated I get.
what is wrong with this article and its stereotypes?
1) That all gay clubs do not have entertainment permit
2) That all gay clubs = sex premises
3) That all gay clubs = dark, dingy, perverse places
4) That the adminstrators at these clubs are doing something wrong, thus they do not want to be interviewed
5) That gay guys are the cause of HIV problems *(this pisses me off REALLY badly)
6) That gay guys do not practice safe sex
Firstly, what the hell makes you thing gay clubs do not have entertainment permits? What about Happy? Why Not? Taboo? These famous AJ hangout spots definately have permits and are well renowned for their music and dance remixes!!!
Secondly, gay clubs = sex premises? How about brothel = sex premises? Why don't you just go ahead and call gay clubs a gay brothel? Because you have no evidence! Thats why. These individuals which tarnish the name of this places are just out to seek justification for their own actions! jeez..
Thirdly, dark dingy places? You mean like lowly lit, murky darkness type? Well, I won't consider Madam Wong's, Indochine or Zouk anywhere near brightly lit and sunny! Nor would I consider the location of BioSkin or ThemaSpa anywhere near the main roads of Singapore.
Much less that the government can't stand these places and want to close them down.
Fourth. YOU ARE THE FREAKING NEW PAPER - for goodness sake. Which AJ on earth will risk their neck and answer your interview that is only tuned for the majority of your readers? - which happens to be a large portion of straight males (homophobic - get it?). Its like committing suicide!
Fifth. That gay guys are the cause of the HIV problem. HELLO~~!! The origin of the HIV immune deficiency virus did not originate from gays in the first place! Moreover, statistic shows that in the entire world, the rates of HIV is more prevalent in women then in men!
jeez. then I bet you're going to attribute the case to lesbianism. This is stupid.
Sixth. That gay guys do not practice safe sex.
Let me ask you this. Do YOU practice safe sex? Statistic shows that most straigth couples could not be bothered, as compared to gay men. While it is true that average gay guys have a more active sex life then their straight counterparts, it is highly advisable not to search for the splinter in the skin of others when there is a log in your eye.
utterly disgusting, the stereotypes that the New Paper has.
Completely irrationaly, without proven evidence, and jumping to conclusion even without finding out the whole situation.
That guy must have been damm angry when he wrote to the Straits Times to announce to the whole world about his wonderful condition.
However, let me ask you. How long does it take for AIDS to manifest?
Answer : At least 5-6 months.
During this time, he could have had countless casual sex partners! All in the so called "sex clubs"? I don't think so. He is old and rich enough to afford a hostel or a motel to do these stuffs.
He didnt wear protection. that is his business. He is courting death.
But why pull down the entire AJ community with him?
Selfish bugger.
This concludes my case with this completely irrational idiot.
*phew*
*breath better now*
This is where Andy claimed he contracted the HIV virus after an orgy with four men.
The dull-looking entrance is dimly-lit by street lamps. One has to go really close to read the club's name as the sign on the door is about the size of a postcard.
Posed Picture: Mohd Ishak
The New Paper on Sunday team visited the club last weekend after some patrons told us about a 'themed party' being held there.
When we arrived at 1am, we saw two men coming out from a dark alley behind the club.
They walked towards a public carpark opposite and left in a car.
Then, another man got out from a car in the same carpark and walked towards the club. He made a few calls on his handphone before entering. We followed him inside.
Near the door, two good-looking and smartly dressed men were seated behind a counter. When we asked about the facilities, they mumbled softly that it was a men's club.
They declined to answer our other questions and simply stared at the empty counter space in front of them.
Another door next to the counter leads into the main premises. Through an opening on the door, we saw a few walking around topless with towels wrapped around their waists.
'PLEASE LEAVE'
We asked if we could go in to take a look.
'No, it's only for members,' said one of the counter staff. The other one mumbled softly: 'Can you please leave?'
A club member who had tipped us off later said: 'We have to put on towels when we are at the counter. But once inside, we'll drop our towels. This special party happens twice a month.
'It is an unspoken rule among members that once the lights come on, we should stop whatever we are doing. When this happens, it's likely that the police are there to inspect the premises.
'But this doesn't happen often.'
These illicit clubs advertise their services on the Internet. They also rely on members to bring in new patrons. Whenever a new club opens or an old one closes down, word gets around quickly, one member said.
When contacted, several of these clubs were hostile. While some declined comment, others simply slammed down the phone.
One operator even proclaimed: 'We are an exclusive club! We don't need any publicity!'
Police spokesman Siow Cheng Cheng said any individual or group that offers any form of public entertainment or massage services to the public must apply for a permit. The penalty for providing public entertainment without a licence is a maximum fine of $10,000.
It is illegal to conduct sexual activities in the premises. A licensing officer may suspend or cancel a licence if he believes the public entertainment for which it was issued has been or is likely to be indecent, immoral or offensive.
Under the law, it is considered an offence for a man to have sex with another man.
The maximum penalty is life imprisonment or 10 years' jail and a fine.
But there are other health clubs and spas who do legitimate business. And these operators feel the shady joints give the industry a bad name.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HIV TEST KITS WON'T STOP THEM FROM HAVING SEX
THOUGH HIV infections caused by homosexual transmission went down last year, they formed a higher percentage of the total number of infections.
Figures released by the Ministry of Health recently show that the number of infections caused by homosexual transmission dropped from 72 in 2004 to 63 last year.
But they formed about a quarter of the 255 HIV infections last year, a slightly higher percentage than the previous year.
In 2004, Dr Balaji Sadasivan, Senior Minister of State (Information, Communications and the Arts and Health) warned of an Aids epidemic in Singapore.
Last year, he also said in a forum that figures suggested that one in 25 gay men here is HIV-positive.
Yet, sexual activites go on uninhibited in unlicensed clubs and bathhouses, even though it is illegal.
These places provide OraQuick, a saliva-based HIV test kit. But results from these self-test kits can be misleading. For instance, if the test is done within three months of infection, it may not show up at all.
Many members also cannot be bothered to take the tests.
Andy said: 'It's always possible that one infected guy goes on to infect others in the club because he is angry and he wants to drag others in.'
The availability of test kits in the clubs creates a false impression that it is safe to have sex there, Andy added.
'Men go to these places with the intention of having sex, so having test kits doesn't really stop them.'
DANGEROUS
Mr Vanan Julian Pillay of Heat Consultants, which provides HIV/Aids education in workplaces, feels that individuals should be responsible for practising safe sex.
The 28-year-old programme executive said: 'It is unavoidable and unfortunate that activities of this nature take place in these places.
'Any form of sexual activity in any condition that doesn't allow for the use of protection is dangerous and must be avoided.
'The protection of our health is primarily our responsibility and we can't leave it to the authorities to impose restrictions and issue regulations. People engaging in sexual acts must take responsibility and must take all necessary precautions.'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Similar clubs banned in San Francisco
RAMPANT sex among gay men in bathhouses, especially in cities like San Francisco, was one of the main causes of the rise of Aids in the US.
The Aids epidemic, which took off in the 1980s, became so bad in San Francisco that the city's Department of Public Health eventually banned bathhouses.
Mr Randy Shilts, a gay journalist with the San Francisco Chronicle, was criticised by many gays for his reports on the promiscuous lifestyle of some gays, which contributed to the Aids epidemic. He died of Aids at the age of 42.
In 1987, San Francisco's last gay bathhouse, the 21st Street Baths, closed its doors for good.
Will the same thing happen here if such promiscuous behaviour persists in men's clubs here?
Said Mr Vanan Julian Pillay of Heat (HIV/Aids Education And Training): 'If people are going to have sex, they should practise safe sex.'
Said Andy, who claimed he contracted the HIV virus after having unprotected sex in health clubs: 'I feel that the Government should step in and do something.
'Closing the clubs may not stop the spread of Aids. But it will definitely help to slow it down.
'If the Government can ban Nation and other gay parties because it thinks that they promote gay sex, how can it turn a blind eye to these men's clubs? The parties are held only once a year, but these clubs are open every day.'
******
Yah. Found the stupid article finally.
anyway, the more I read this article the more irritated I get.
what is wrong with this article and its stereotypes?
1) That all gay clubs do not have entertainment permit
2) That all gay clubs = sex premises
3) That all gay clubs = dark, dingy, perverse places
4) That the adminstrators at these clubs are doing something wrong, thus they do not want to be interviewed
5) That gay guys are the cause of HIV problems *(this pisses me off REALLY badly)
6) That gay guys do not practice safe sex
Firstly, what the hell makes you thing gay clubs do not have entertainment permits? What about Happy? Why Not? Taboo? These famous AJ hangout spots definately have permits and are well renowned for their music and dance remixes!!!
Secondly, gay clubs = sex premises? How about brothel = sex premises? Why don't you just go ahead and call gay clubs a gay brothel? Because you have no evidence! Thats why. These individuals which tarnish the name of this places are just out to seek justification for their own actions! jeez..
Thirdly, dark dingy places? You mean like lowly lit, murky darkness type? Well, I won't consider Madam Wong's, Indochine or Zouk anywhere near brightly lit and sunny! Nor would I consider the location of BioSkin or ThemaSpa anywhere near the main roads of Singapore.
Much less that the government can't stand these places and want to close them down.
Fourth. YOU ARE THE FREAKING NEW PAPER - for goodness sake. Which AJ on earth will risk their neck and answer your interview that is only tuned for the majority of your readers? - which happens to be a large portion of straight males (homophobic - get it?). Its like committing suicide!
Fifth. That gay guys are the cause of the HIV problem. HELLO~~!! The origin of the HIV immune deficiency virus did not originate from gays in the first place! Moreover, statistic shows that in the entire world, the rates of HIV is more prevalent in women then in men!
jeez. then I bet you're going to attribute the case to lesbianism. This is stupid.
Sixth. That gay guys do not practice safe sex.
Let me ask you this. Do YOU practice safe sex? Statistic shows that most straigth couples could not be bothered, as compared to gay men. While it is true that average gay guys have a more active sex life then their straight counterparts, it is highly advisable not to search for the splinter in the skin of others when there is a log in your eye.
utterly disgusting, the stereotypes that the New Paper has.
Completely irrationaly, without proven evidence, and jumping to conclusion even without finding out the whole situation.
That guy must have been damm angry when he wrote to the Straits Times to announce to the whole world about his wonderful condition.
However, let me ask you. How long does it take for AIDS to manifest?
Answer : At least 5-6 months.
During this time, he could have had countless casual sex partners! All in the so called "sex clubs"? I don't think so. He is old and rich enough to afford a hostel or a motel to do these stuffs.
He didnt wear protection. that is his business. He is courting death.
But why pull down the entire AJ community with him?
Selfish bugger.
This concludes my case with this completely irrational idiot.
*phew*
*breath better now*
Friday, May 26, 2006
Cool Stuff from the Book of Enoch and other Important Stuffs to Announce =D
Chapter 20
1 These are the names of the angels who watch.
2 Uriel, one of the holy angels, who presides over clamor and terror.
3 Raphael, one of the holy angels, who presides over the spirits of men.
4 Raguel, one of the holy angels, who inflicts punishment on the world and the luminaries.
5 Michael, one of the holy angels, who, presiding over human virtue, commands the nations.
6 Sarakiel, one of the holy angels, who presides over the spirits of the children of men that transgress.
7 Gabriel, one of the holy angels, who presides over Ikisat, (31) over paradise, and over the cherubim.
(31) Ikisat. The serpents (Charles, p. 92; Knibb, p. 107).
I just thought that this was quite cool.
This passage is taken from the Book of Enoch, one of the so called "lost books" of the bible.
At first glance, there seem to be no reason why the author, Enoch would want to lie about any stuff, *(unlike that of the Gospal of Judas), however, I think that there are some discrepencies inside which the Spirit tells me.
hmm
anywayz, its still quite cool...
btw, Rapheal, Michael and Gabriel are definately angels, and are mentioned in quite a number of areas in the New and Old Testament.
oh yes. On another note :
ICM situation analysis is finished
ICM situation analysis is finished
la la la la la
ICM situation analysis is FINSIHED!
yeah. after weeks of toil and turmoil, labour and sweat, our report has finally come to fruitation. - I see the light!!
bwahaha
and. On another highly important note :
Happy B'dae Xiao Wei mei mei!
I don't really know what to wish for your birthday, except that may you always know that there are people around you who care and love you lots, and God is always cool =D
I bless you with a *puymqfm*!! (oh. thats the word from the blogger word verification! I just love it. It summarizes everything I want to say and allow the readers to go into warped imagination.)
stay cute and cool in Christ always!
Your Godbrother, Friend and Guardian Angel,
Andrew.
=D
1 These are the names of the angels who watch.
2 Uriel, one of the holy angels, who presides over clamor and terror.
3 Raphael, one of the holy angels, who presides over the spirits of men.
4 Raguel, one of the holy angels, who inflicts punishment on the world and the luminaries.
5 Michael, one of the holy angels, who, presiding over human virtue, commands the nations.
6 Sarakiel, one of the holy angels, who presides over the spirits of the children of men that transgress.
7 Gabriel, one of the holy angels, who presides over Ikisat, (31) over paradise, and over the cherubim.
(31) Ikisat. The serpents (Charles, p. 92; Knibb, p. 107).
I just thought that this was quite cool.
This passage is taken from the Book of Enoch, one of the so called "lost books" of the bible.
At first glance, there seem to be no reason why the author, Enoch would want to lie about any stuff, *(unlike that of the Gospal of Judas), however, I think that there are some discrepencies inside which the Spirit tells me.
hmm
anywayz, its still quite cool...
btw, Rapheal, Michael and Gabriel are definately angels, and are mentioned in quite a number of areas in the New and Old Testament.
oh yes. On another note :
ICM situation analysis is finished
ICM situation analysis is finished
la la la la la
ICM situation analysis is FINSIHED!
yeah. after weeks of toil and turmoil, labour and sweat, our report has finally come to fruitation. - I see the light!!
bwahaha
and. On another highly important note :
Happy B'dae Xiao Wei mei mei!
I don't really know what to wish for your birthday, except that may you always know that there are people around you who care and love you lots, and God is always cool =D
I bless you with a *puymqfm*!! (oh. thats the word from the blogger word verification! I just love it. It summarizes everything I want to say and allow the readers to go into warped imagination.)
stay cute and cool in Christ always!
Your Godbrother, Friend and Guardian Angel,
Andrew.
=D
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
The Pinnacle of Stress
Have you ever reached a point in your life, where you are so stressed, you just stare blankly at you screen and cry?
The reason why I am able to blog in the midst of the chaos and turmoil is because Timothy is typing out a critical part of the project that I need to continue on, and Marcus is also stressing over a critical part of the project before he passes on to me to carry on.
ignore the previous sentance. the bottomline is (sharina's favourite phrase) I AM STRESSED!!
I am darn, freaking, unimaginably, incomparably STRESSED.
and to all those (non-DMC, Yr 3, SDFTV) peepz who can say that they are stressed, try my life for awhile. How about make it 3 months only?
ARRGH!!
I thought year 2 was stressed. And I had good reason to believe that there couldn't be any possibly higher stress.
but now, year 2 seems like child's play~~!!
My weekends are totally absorbed,
My weekdays are engulfed in work 24/7
I can tell you, I BET that NO working adult, be it CEO or Director, can feel more stress then me.
NO JC student, NO other freaking poly student even.
and I'll bet my brand new iPod nano on it.
jeez! I don't even want to blog now!
I want to sleep!!
but nooo... I can't sleep, becase I have to hand up the SDFTV concept paper tomorrow as well as TA Psychographics.
stress?
you bet. beyond stress. Its pure hysteria.
the blogger word verification system puts it the best way possible.
The word to describe it is : "APWGGHK!!!!"
The reason why I am able to blog in the midst of the chaos and turmoil is because Timothy is typing out a critical part of the project that I need to continue on, and Marcus is also stressing over a critical part of the project before he passes on to me to carry on.
ignore the previous sentance. the bottomline is (sharina's favourite phrase) I AM STRESSED!!
I am darn, freaking, unimaginably, incomparably STRESSED.
and to all those (non-DMC, Yr 3, SDFTV) peepz who can say that they are stressed, try my life for awhile. How about make it 3 months only?
ARRGH!!
I thought year 2 was stressed. And I had good reason to believe that there couldn't be any possibly higher stress.
but now, year 2 seems like child's play~~!!
My weekends are totally absorbed,
My weekdays are engulfed in work 24/7
I can tell you, I BET that NO working adult, be it CEO or Director, can feel more stress then me.
NO JC student, NO other freaking poly student even.
and I'll bet my brand new iPod nano on it.
jeez! I don't even want to blog now!
I want to sleep!!
but nooo... I can't sleep, becase I have to hand up the SDFTV concept paper tomorrow as well as TA Psychographics.
stress?
you bet. beyond stress. Its pure hysteria.
the blogger word verification system puts it the best way possible.
The word to describe it is : "APWGGHK!!!!"
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Mr. Andy tells the world that he has AIDS.
Bwahaha... Blogger has word verification system now...
okie... I just read a very pissifying article on the New Paper today.
The headline screams "Health Club deadly HIV hubs?" and "Once inside, We Drop Our Towels".
In summary, The New Paper today reported that a gay man named 'Andy' contracted the HIV virus in a gay bathhouse after a romp with four men.
Okay. What on earth would cause a person to humiliate himself so publicly like that? Is it pure suicide?
The answer, he contracted AIDS.
I mean, what the hell.
"'Andy' was quoted as saying, "I feel that the Government should step in and do something. Closing the clubs may not stop the spread of Aids. But it will definitely help to slow it down. If the government can ban nation and other gay parties because it thinks that they promote gay sex, how can it turn a blind eye to these men’s clubs? The parties are held only once a year, but these clubs are open every day."
the point that I'm angry about is not his insistency at his government closing these places, IF what he says is true. (But most likely, his statement is clouded by his anger at being a victim of a death sentence.)
BUT. What I am very erked about is his cowardly pushing of blames to the these clubs, parties and even the Government.
If he didn't wear protection, its his own darn business. Its sick.
Here the AFA (Action for AIDS) is promoting the use of safe sex practices, and there dumb assholes like him are going around flaming the public with the opinion that homosexuality constitute AIDS.
Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome.
Its a death sentence to all who gets it. But before one gets it, imagine the likelihood of the person having unprotected sex?
well, there are cases of blood contact and rape, most of it is just based on pure irresponsibility.
In the article, Andy blamed the government for not closing down these places, thus deeming them being irresponsible by promoting the cause of AIDS.
However, he just admitted that he had unprotected sex.
He is like asking for it!
Dumb retard.
and the New Paper is no better for allowing such articles to be published.
damm bias straights.
The PAP (which incidentally is anti-homosexual [Re: there is evidence in interviews during the elections. so i'm not saying something defamatory]) has already supported the decision to ban AJ parties such as Nation and the Mardi Gras, and now this person is trying to instigate them to ban another place where AJs can socialize?
well.
If that aint so. Go ahead and close Happy, WhyNot, Taboo, Mad Monks, 3 Cows and what have you.
why NOT? after all, they have already closed down places like Waterbar and Centro
(waterbar claimed that it was because of allowing underage teens to enter. However, if this was true, why do clubs like SPARKS still stand? - fishy)
(Centro claimed that they were unable to pay the rental fee 1 Fullerton. If they can hire world famous DJs to do their remixes, they aren't able to pay a meagre rental fee? - fishy)
while lesbians can kiss and hug and do whatever they want in public, two guys holding hand are still outlawed. wtf?
From liberal United States (Rio de Janario) to Conservative China (Hong Kong), AJ factions are able to have rallies under the rainbow flag, with the green light from the government. However in Singapore, the PLU (people like us), are unable to get any social activities, be it big or small approved by the government.
The AFA, PLU and other AIDS awareness groups has already done an excellent job in informing every single AJs about the dangers of AIDS, the vulnarability of the human system and the need to use protection every single time.
I even get free condoms from Fridae.com. wth?
You only need idiots like Mr. Andy to complain to the media about these stuffs, and undecerning papers who only care for sensationalizing stuffs will lap it up like desert rain.
so, dumb clucks like Mr. Andy out there not only ruined his life permernantly, but destroyed his own reputation utterly.
He wont even be able to crawl under his feet and hide his face from the public.
He repulses me.
Full stop.
p.s. if the New Paper sees this, they are most likely going to put it up on their paper too, under headline "Pro-Gay activists attacks PAP's policies and Media".
whatever.
okie... I just read a very pissifying article on the New Paper today.
The headline screams "Health Club deadly HIV hubs?" and "Once inside, We Drop Our Towels".
In summary, The New Paper today reported that a gay man named 'Andy' contracted the HIV virus in a gay bathhouse after a romp with four men.
Okay. What on earth would cause a person to humiliate himself so publicly like that? Is it pure suicide?
The answer, he contracted AIDS.
I mean, what the hell.
"'Andy' was quoted as saying, "I feel that the Government should step in and do something. Closing the clubs may not stop the spread of Aids. But it will definitely help to slow it down. If the government can ban nation and other gay parties because it thinks that they promote gay sex, how can it turn a blind eye to these men’s clubs? The parties are held only once a year, but these clubs are open every day."
the point that I'm angry about is not his insistency at his government closing these places, IF what he says is true. (But most likely, his statement is clouded by his anger at being a victim of a death sentence.)
BUT. What I am very erked about is his cowardly pushing of blames to the these clubs, parties and even the Government.
If he didn't wear protection, its his own darn business. Its sick.
Here the AFA (Action for AIDS) is promoting the use of safe sex practices, and there dumb assholes like him are going around flaming the public with the opinion that homosexuality constitute AIDS.
Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome.
Its a death sentence to all who gets it. But before one gets it, imagine the likelihood of the person having unprotected sex?
well, there are cases of blood contact and rape, most of it is just based on pure irresponsibility.
In the article, Andy blamed the government for not closing down these places, thus deeming them being irresponsible by promoting the cause of AIDS.
However, he just admitted that he had unprotected sex.
He is like asking for it!
Dumb retard.
and the New Paper is no better for allowing such articles to be published.
damm bias straights.
The PAP (which incidentally is anti-homosexual [Re: there is evidence in interviews during the elections. so i'm not saying something defamatory]) has already supported the decision to ban AJ parties such as Nation and the Mardi Gras, and now this person is trying to instigate them to ban another place where AJs can socialize?
well.
If that aint so. Go ahead and close Happy, WhyNot, Taboo, Mad Monks, 3 Cows and what have you.
why NOT? after all, they have already closed down places like Waterbar and Centro
(waterbar claimed that it was because of allowing underage teens to enter. However, if this was true, why do clubs like SPARKS still stand? - fishy)
(Centro claimed that they were unable to pay the rental fee 1 Fullerton. If they can hire world famous DJs to do their remixes, they aren't able to pay a meagre rental fee? - fishy)
while lesbians can kiss and hug and do whatever they want in public, two guys holding hand are still outlawed. wtf?
From liberal United States (Rio de Janario) to Conservative China (Hong Kong), AJ factions are able to have rallies under the rainbow flag, with the green light from the government. However in Singapore, the PLU (people like us), are unable to get any social activities, be it big or small approved by the government.
The AFA, PLU and other AIDS awareness groups has already done an excellent job in informing every single AJs about the dangers of AIDS, the vulnarability of the human system and the need to use protection every single time.
I even get free condoms from Fridae.com. wth?
You only need idiots like Mr. Andy to complain to the media about these stuffs, and undecerning papers who only care for sensationalizing stuffs will lap it up like desert rain.
so, dumb clucks like Mr. Andy out there not only ruined his life permernantly, but destroyed his own reputation utterly.
He wont even be able to crawl under his feet and hide his face from the public.
He repulses me.
Full stop.
p.s. if the New Paper sees this, they are most likely going to put it up on their paper too, under headline "Pro-Gay activists attacks PAP's policies and Media".
whatever.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Totally Dumb Research.. Dude.
Look what I found in a research template given by the universtity of Ohio.
Of course, its totally non-usable by researchers of our standard but there is a particular paragraph that sounds so scientific that I HAD to put it down or I'll regret it for the rest of my life.
It goes like this :
"This is a conglomeration of text to fill some paragraphs. Replace with your own writing. More text. This is a conglomeration of text to fill some paragraphs. Replace with your own writing. What's next. More text. This massive conglomeration of text should fill a few paragraphs. Replace with your own writing. More and more text. This is a conglomeration of text to fill some paragraphs. Replace with your own writing. Evermore stuff and more text. More text. "
... dont you just love it =)
Of course, its totally non-usable by researchers of our standard but there is a particular paragraph that sounds so scientific that I HAD to put it down or I'll regret it for the rest of my life.
It goes like this :
"This is a conglomeration of text to fill some paragraphs. Replace with your own writing. More text. This is a conglomeration of text to fill some paragraphs. Replace with your own writing. What's next. More text. This massive conglomeration of text should fill a few paragraphs. Replace with your own writing. More and more text. This is a conglomeration of text to fill some paragraphs. Replace with your own writing. Evermore stuff and more text. More text. "
... dont you just love it =)
ISP Hallucinations......
Uni-variate
BI-variate
Multi-variate
Literature reviews
Stratified
Systematic
Cluster and Sequential Multiphase
Ethnography
Scientific clarity
Research indiction
Methodological assumption
Epistomological assumption
Rigour and Sophistication
....
......
.........
*stares hazily into a blank space*
*comatose*
*blink*
*...*
BI-variate
Multi-variate
Literature reviews
Stratified
Systematic
Cluster and Sequential Multiphase
Ethnography
Scientific clarity
Research indiction
Methodological assumption
Epistomological assumption
Rigour and Sophistication
....
......
.........
*stares hazily into a blank space*
*comatose*
*blink*
*...*
Honour's Roll !!! (triple exclamation marks)
YIPPEE!! haha.. guess this might have come a bit late for people who read my blog, but ...
ANDREW IS ON THE HONOUR'S ROLL!!
yeah! hahaha...
this is one of the best things that happen to me this year... =)
I was really afraid that I might not be able to get into the honour's roll at least one time throughout my course of study here... but whalla... I'm in!
yeah!! =)
really super happy...
*jumps for joy*
I think when I received the paper, I was staring at it for a few seconds, trying to absorb the absurdity of the entire situation...
then I screamed... haha....
=D
I think the other classes must have thought I was crazy...
luckily SUSAN wansn't around, or my name would definately be on Channel News Asia...
haha...
=)
Yippee... I've been pretty cheerful this few days, despite the overwhelming amount of work that threatens to break me...
I'm currently still love my life..
and I love dominic too =D
don't blame yourself for what is happening yah?
i think i shouldn't even have written that entry in the first place...
well.. i guess i kinda got carried away with my feelings and stuff...
*hugs*
I know that you love me to bits and pieces...
and I know you know that I love you to microbits and pieces...
haha =D
I love you more then you love me *bleah* =D
ANDREW IS ON THE HONOUR'S ROLL!!
yeah! hahaha...
this is one of the best things that happen to me this year... =)
I was really afraid that I might not be able to get into the honour's roll at least one time throughout my course of study here... but whalla... I'm in!
yeah!! =)
really super happy...
*jumps for joy*
I think when I received the paper, I was staring at it for a few seconds, trying to absorb the absurdity of the entire situation...
then I screamed... haha....
=D
I think the other classes must have thought I was crazy...
luckily SUSAN wansn't around, or my name would definately be on Channel News Asia...
haha...
=)
Yippee... I've been pretty cheerful this few days, despite the overwhelming amount of work that threatens to break me...
I'm currently still love my life..
and I love dominic too =D
don't blame yourself for what is happening yah?
i think i shouldn't even have written that entry in the first place...
well.. i guess i kinda got carried away with my feelings and stuff...
*hugs*
I know that you love me to bits and pieces...
and I know you know that I love you to microbits and pieces...
haha =D
I love you more then you love me *bleah* =D
Friday, May 19, 2006
Thursday, May 18, 2006
A Reply
Permit me to say something that needs to be asked of you.
IN all your proclaimations of your love for Dominic. I realise that God has been replaced in your heart.
As a brother in christ, i pray Andrew that you would realise that its God you have been craving for in your life. Not Dominic.
You have placed your hopes on Dominic to take the place of what only God can fill.
i can't hope to understand the way you feel currently.
But Andrew, you really gota let go.
I'll b more than willing to pray for you and perhaps even get the youth to pray together for you.
perhaps Dominic was too nice not to ask for a break up. Unfortunately i feel things will lead that way eventually. You know it will too don't you.
Whatever God does not approve of cannot last.
i Hope you don't think i'm condemning you.
Far from it.
I don't know how you would react to reading this.
But i personally feel that you had to hear this.
I know a little about what its like to be gay. I might have had a tiny crush on a guy even before in army. And that freaked me out. It was easy for me to say no to my feelings that time.
You have a heart for God.
That is without doubt.
God yearns for you for us to come back to his side.
May you be like the phoenix who rises from the ashes mighty and vibrant, cleansed in fire and reborn from the ashes.
Andrew, i really pray you come back to God.
Rich 05.15.06 - 1:22 pm #
---------------------------
This response came in a bit late, but yeah... thanks Richard for the very long comment on my blog entry...
Thanks to all the multitude of people who have been praying for me for this "problem"....
And, an even bigger thanks to Ronald and Zheng Yang who is really going all the way out to try to help me in this "problem"....
You see, as most of you people who have already talked to me thoroughly, over and over again, it has nothing to do with inherent psychological trauma or anything that can shape me into "that sort" or people...
Richard, I thank God that I have brother who is so concerned about me, but no matter what, you can never understand love from the stand of a homosexual.
I hate to use the word homosexual, because it has become an insult on the lips of the community, and a scourge on the people who are indeed homosexual.
even the word "gay" is used as in a degratory fashion.
If God has been the one that I have been craving all along in my life, wouldnt that make sense if the entire world becomes celebate?
You see, God made humans for the company of one another.
Though we are suppose to be completely dependent on God, we do need the love and comfort of another person... and that is when a relationship is formed.
I placed my hopes in Dominic?
nah.
I know Dominic loves me... and I know I love him too. No matter how long we hope, we'll just take our love as far as our relationship will take us...
"Perhaps Dominic was too nice not to ask for a break up."
I think you misunderstood my post....
Dominic was not planning for a break up, rather, we both realized the ominiousity of the situation.
6 months is indeed not short for a homosexual relationship.
you know why? (I actually did an entry on this quite some time ago)
- Because of the pressure society gives them to break up
- Because they are unable to do stuffs that would be deemed "normal" in a straight relationship
- Because their family will not approve of it
- Because (if they are christian), God will not approve of it
- Because of the very little time they can spend together cut out from the eyes of society
- Because because because ....
There are a ton of influencing factors that are constantly bombarding a homosexual relationship... much more then any straight relationship have. And thats why the time span is always so short-lived.
And using that statistic to justify, many people believe that homosexuals just can't be together.
is that true? think.
Having a crush on another girl is normal.
Admiration can lead to crush
Crush can lead to obsesession
Obsession can lead to adoration
and soon, you realize that you have understood the girl enough, and she is not for you.
see? the fragile emotions that take place in between?
If it were a guy.
You admire that guy, causes adoration
Adoration causes obsession.
Obsession cases a crush.
its simple psychological mathematics. but of course, you're straight. so when you realize that you are heading the wrong direction, you freak out.
God yearns for me to come back to His side...
I know..
But I'm sure He yearns for me to come back to His side, the same way He yearns for a straight couple who is obsessed with one another to come back to His side...
I dont think you're condamming me, and I don't want to think that you're condamming me...
but you must understand that I have tried.
- note : to all those people who think I HAVE NOT MADE THE EFFORT.
I HAVE tried.
For almost a year, I tried to completely purge myself from this "sin", and kept asking in faith for God to change me.
apparantly, it isn't in His plan. at least not yet.
I've tried counselling, I've tried prayer, I've tried miracle sessions, I've tried self-restrain, I've tried almost everything to change.
no change.
It'll be better if I live my life like a living hell right?
John 3:16
"For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son, Jesus Christ, that whosoever believes in Him, shall not perish, but have eternal life."
I believe.
I know He's in me.
And that is all that matters.
To me, Dominic is a gift... maybe not from God, but still, he is the closest thing to love I can feel on earth...
I've always been with God. Rather, Jesus lives in me...
As I'll never understand the nuances of a straight relationship,
You'll never understand the clockworks of a homosexual relationship.
Few people will.
IN all your proclaimations of your love for Dominic. I realise that God has been replaced in your heart.
As a brother in christ, i pray Andrew that you would realise that its God you have been craving for in your life. Not Dominic.
You have placed your hopes on Dominic to take the place of what only God can fill.
i can't hope to understand the way you feel currently.
But Andrew, you really gota let go.
I'll b more than willing to pray for you and perhaps even get the youth to pray together for you.
perhaps Dominic was too nice not to ask for a break up. Unfortunately i feel things will lead that way eventually. You know it will too don't you.
Whatever God does not approve of cannot last.
i Hope you don't think i'm condemning you.
Far from it.
I don't know how you would react to reading this.
But i personally feel that you had to hear this.
I know a little about what its like to be gay. I might have had a tiny crush on a guy even before in army. And that freaked me out. It was easy for me to say no to my feelings that time.
You have a heart for God.
That is without doubt.
God yearns for you for us to come back to his side.
May you be like the phoenix who rises from the ashes mighty and vibrant, cleansed in fire and reborn from the ashes.
Andrew, i really pray you come back to God.
Rich 05.15.06 - 1:22 pm #
---------------------------
This response came in a bit late, but yeah... thanks Richard for the very long comment on my blog entry...
Thanks to all the multitude of people who have been praying for me for this "problem"....
And, an even bigger thanks to Ronald and Zheng Yang who is really going all the way out to try to help me in this "problem"....
You see, as most of you people who have already talked to me thoroughly, over and over again, it has nothing to do with inherent psychological trauma or anything that can shape me into "that sort" or people...
Richard, I thank God that I have brother who is so concerned about me, but no matter what, you can never understand love from the stand of a homosexual.
I hate to use the word homosexual, because it has become an insult on the lips of the community, and a scourge on the people who are indeed homosexual.
even the word "gay" is used as in a degratory fashion.
If God has been the one that I have been craving all along in my life, wouldnt that make sense if the entire world becomes celebate?
You see, God made humans for the company of one another.
Though we are suppose to be completely dependent on God, we do need the love and comfort of another person... and that is when a relationship is formed.
I placed my hopes in Dominic?
nah.
I know Dominic loves me... and I know I love him too. No matter how long we hope, we'll just take our love as far as our relationship will take us...
"Perhaps Dominic was too nice not to ask for a break up."
I think you misunderstood my post....
Dominic was not planning for a break up, rather, we both realized the ominiousity of the situation.
6 months is indeed not short for a homosexual relationship.
you know why? (I actually did an entry on this quite some time ago)
- Because of the pressure society gives them to break up
- Because they are unable to do stuffs that would be deemed "normal" in a straight relationship
- Because their family will not approve of it
- Because (if they are christian), God will not approve of it
- Because of the very little time they can spend together cut out from the eyes of society
- Because because because ....
There are a ton of influencing factors that are constantly bombarding a homosexual relationship... much more then any straight relationship have. And thats why the time span is always so short-lived.
And using that statistic to justify, many people believe that homosexuals just can't be together.
is that true? think.
Having a crush on another girl is normal.
Admiration can lead to crush
Crush can lead to obsesession
Obsession can lead to adoration
and soon, you realize that you have understood the girl enough, and she is not for you.
see? the fragile emotions that take place in between?
If it were a guy.
You admire that guy, causes adoration
Adoration causes obsession.
Obsession cases a crush.
its simple psychological mathematics. but of course, you're straight. so when you realize that you are heading the wrong direction, you freak out.
God yearns for me to come back to His side...
I know..
But I'm sure He yearns for me to come back to His side, the same way He yearns for a straight couple who is obsessed with one another to come back to His side...
I dont think you're condamming me, and I don't want to think that you're condamming me...
but you must understand that I have tried.
- note : to all those people who think I HAVE NOT MADE THE EFFORT.
I HAVE tried.
For almost a year, I tried to completely purge myself from this "sin", and kept asking in faith for God to change me.
apparantly, it isn't in His plan. at least not yet.
I've tried counselling, I've tried prayer, I've tried miracle sessions, I've tried self-restrain, I've tried almost everything to change.
no change.
It'll be better if I live my life like a living hell right?
John 3:16
"For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son, Jesus Christ, that whosoever believes in Him, shall not perish, but have eternal life."
I believe.
I know He's in me.
And that is all that matters.
To me, Dominic is a gift... maybe not from God, but still, he is the closest thing to love I can feel on earth...
I've always been with God. Rather, Jesus lives in me...
As I'll never understand the nuances of a straight relationship,
You'll never understand the clockworks of a homosexual relationship.
Few people will.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
10 Things Andrew Must Do To Be Happy
I did this enaemogram personality test, and the test results show 10 things that revolve around my happiness in life :
I must be impressive and attractive to be happy.
I must be helpful and caring to be happy.
I must be secure and safe to be happy.
I must be high and entertained to be happy.
I must be perfect and good to be happy.
I must be strong and in control to be happy.
I must avoid painful feelings to be happy.
I must be knowledgable and independent to be happy.
I must be peaceful and easy to get along with to be happy.
haha.. the part that made me laugh was the "I must be high and entertained to be happy"... lol... I thought everybody needed to be high and entertained to feel happy...
lol...
haha.. for all those people who were concerned about me and dominic, don't worry yah? nothing is wrong between me and him... at all... the comments below were just something that ran through my mind...
=)
hidden tears
a casual talk in pastamania...
Me : haha, *pokes and his al fungi pasta*... so, we've been together for 6 months already...
Him : *with his mouth full* yeah, it feels like its been so short only
Me : *deep sigh* yah... I never want it to end you know... hey... dominic
Him : hmm?
Me : do you think we'll be able to go beyond one year?
Him : hmm.... what do you think?
Me : yeah, and I really wish that we will be together for as long as possible... how about you?
Him : *silence*
The meal proceeded on very quietly after that....
We both knew that 6 months is tremendously long for any AJ relationship, its almost the equivalent of more then a year in any straight relationship...
I.. can't expect him to hold on to me forever... its too much for him, and too selfish for me...
but I do love him...
and despite all the forces of the world that seem to rend and tear and the very fabric of our love, I still love him...
I could say, even more then any of my past.
I tried to suppress the tears, hoping desperately for something like, "a year? I'll love you more then time itself"..... coz thats what I felt deep inside...
one year.
it has reached a point where I don't even care who is the active or passive in the relationship, even money and time...
love is fragile... isn't it?
yet, love is an element that is all enduring and encompassing...
True love, outlasts all...
I love you, Dominic...
And I have no regrets how long it will last...
Because for the moment, I have you... and every moment I spend with you is worth more then the world put together....
Me : haha, *pokes and his al fungi pasta*... so, we've been together for 6 months already...
Him : *with his mouth full* yeah, it feels like its been so short only
Me : *deep sigh* yah... I never want it to end you know... hey... dominic
Him : hmm?
Me : do you think we'll be able to go beyond one year?
Him : hmm.... what do you think?
Me : yeah, and I really wish that we will be together for as long as possible... how about you?
Him : *silence*
The meal proceeded on very quietly after that....
We both knew that 6 months is tremendously long for any AJ relationship, its almost the equivalent of more then a year in any straight relationship...
I.. can't expect him to hold on to me forever... its too much for him, and too selfish for me...
but I do love him...
and despite all the forces of the world that seem to rend and tear and the very fabric of our love, I still love him...
I could say, even more then any of my past.
I tried to suppress the tears, hoping desperately for something like, "a year? I'll love you more then time itself"..... coz thats what I felt deep inside...
one year.
it has reached a point where I don't even care who is the active or passive in the relationship, even money and time...
love is fragile... isn't it?
yet, love is an element that is all enduring and encompassing...
True love, outlasts all...
I love you, Dominic...
And I have no regrets how long it will last...
Because for the moment, I have you... and every moment I spend with you is worth more then the world put together....
Sunday, May 14, 2006
a drop in the ocean of time...
6 months...
six months...
saying that this is a long time for an AJ relationship is an understatement...
most aj relationships do not even last for more then a month...
but, yet I do not feel that its long...
I just wish that we can be together as long as eternity will allow us to be...
behind the hugs and smiles, I see an angel...
an angel who stood beside me the good times and the bad
an angel who held me close when I felt down
an angel who healed my heart when I believed it could never be healed again
an angel who smiled a smile that made the darkest day bright again...
bleah. mushy.
haha... but I've felt more happy and content with the world then ever before ever since you came into my life...
six months flashed by...
A drop in the magnitude of an ocean of eternity...
Time no longer matters, when the same person you love is the same person whom you loved on the first day...
i could hold your hand and walk at the edge of oblivion,
with nothing but you love to hold
a thin thread, but nevertheless the strongest I've yet to know.....
I love you.
I always will... more then your memories will hold me.
six months...
saying that this is a long time for an AJ relationship is an understatement...
most aj relationships do not even last for more then a month...
but, yet I do not feel that its long...
I just wish that we can be together as long as eternity will allow us to be...
behind the hugs and smiles, I see an angel...
an angel who stood beside me the good times and the bad
an angel who held me close when I felt down
an angel who healed my heart when I believed it could never be healed again
an angel who smiled a smile that made the darkest day bright again...
bleah. mushy.
haha... but I've felt more happy and content with the world then ever before ever since you came into my life...
six months flashed by...
A drop in the magnitude of an ocean of eternity...
Time no longer matters, when the same person you love is the same person whom you loved on the first day...
i could hold your hand and walk at the edge of oblivion,
with nothing but you love to hold
a thin thread, but nevertheless the strongest I've yet to know.....
I love you.
I always will... more then your memories will hold me.
Saturday, May 13, 2006
et. tu. Clubbing?
I went clubbing on friday.
After... 2 years?..... bleah..
And I went to a straight club, with straight remixes, with straight guys and with my straight friends...
so, for once I felt like I was kinda out of place....
haha... well, at least there weren't hanky-pankie going on around....
=X
so the 7 superheroes, Jowyne, Candice, Xiao Wei, Dylan, Jason, Victor and Me steps into Madam Wong's club...
err... well, the environment is still not bad.. if not for it looking rather 80s
hmmm...
and yeah. The latest i EVE Clubbed.
We clubbed till 3, and we reached home at 4
which explains why I did my "other" blog entry at 4.
=X
jeez..... i'm tired!
*hugs dominic*
you know you miss a person when everything thats around you remind you of him.
i could hold your hand and walk eternity together...
if... eternity allowed us to
After... 2 years?..... bleah..
And I went to a straight club, with straight remixes, with straight guys and with my straight friends...
so, for once I felt like I was kinda out of place....
haha... well, at least there weren't hanky-pankie going on around....
=X
so the 7 superheroes, Jowyne, Candice, Xiao Wei, Dylan, Jason, Victor and Me steps into Madam Wong's club...
err... well, the environment is still not bad.. if not for it looking rather 80s
hmmm...
and yeah. The latest i EVE Clubbed.
We clubbed till 3, and we reached home at 4
which explains why I did my "other" blog entry at 4.
=X
jeez..... i'm tired!
*hugs dominic*
you know you miss a person when everything thats around you remind you of him.
i could hold your hand and walk eternity together...
if... eternity allowed us to
Friday, May 12, 2006
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Quiz Quiz Quiz!
| This Is My Life, Rated | |
| Life: |  7.4 |
| Mind: |  7.1 |
| Body: |  8.4 |
| Spirit: | 8.3 |
| Friends/Family: |  5 |
| Love: | 6.9 |
| Finance: |  5.8 |
| Take the Rate My Life Quiz | |
haha.. I'm really sick of work
hmm... I got above average for everything except Finance... lol
see? I'm poor
xP
Friday, May 05, 2006
coming of age...
"We'll all become adults one day... and nobody will even think we were kids once..."
- Takamoto (Honey and Clover)
I'm afraid...
Very afraid...
I cannot imagine myself being an "adult" and having to accept all the burdens and responsibilities that come with being one...
Its so scary just to think that one day, people will look back at you with a bitter stare which reads : "How can you be doing this? You're no longer a kid..."
I never want to grow up.... not because I have a deprived childhood or anything like it...
I just don't want to grow up because I don't want to accept the responsibilities of being an adult...
when you're a kid, people say "oh, he's just a boy... let him be, he's just having a bit of fun"
when you're a teen, people say "oh, he's just being rash and hot-headed... its just a phase of growing up!"
but, when you're an adult, people will give you bloodshot stares and cold looks when you do something that isn't "adult-like" or deem fitting of one..
I don't really deem myself as the "creative" sort of person...
but deep down inside, I'm really a different sort of person that people see me in real life..
I'm just a kid... unpredictable and emotion-prone...
but I've left my innocence of youth behind be a long time ago...
to face the world, head on.... I've yet to find the strength and courage to do so...
thats why, I'm so easily bullied sometimes I guess...
I'll just listen and I'll do...
If people give me a negative comment, I'll most likely be too afraid to return to the task...
coward.. ain't I?
if... my reality was my dreams... I'll make it so beautiful, that... no one will ever need to grow up...
ever again....
- Takamoto (Honey and Clover)
I'm afraid...
Very afraid...
I cannot imagine myself being an "adult" and having to accept all the burdens and responsibilities that come with being one...
Its so scary just to think that one day, people will look back at you with a bitter stare which reads : "How can you be doing this? You're no longer a kid..."
I never want to grow up.... not because I have a deprived childhood or anything like it...
I just don't want to grow up because I don't want to accept the responsibilities of being an adult...
when you're a kid, people say "oh, he's just a boy... let him be, he's just having a bit of fun"
when you're a teen, people say "oh, he's just being rash and hot-headed... its just a phase of growing up!"
but, when you're an adult, people will give you bloodshot stares and cold looks when you do something that isn't "adult-like" or deem fitting of one..
I don't really deem myself as the "creative" sort of person...
but deep down inside, I'm really a different sort of person that people see me in real life..
I'm just a kid... unpredictable and emotion-prone...
but I've left my innocence of youth behind be a long time ago...
to face the world, head on.... I've yet to find the strength and courage to do so...
thats why, I'm so easily bullied sometimes I guess...
I'll just listen and I'll do...
If people give me a negative comment, I'll most likely be too afraid to return to the task...
coward.. ain't I?
if... my reality was my dreams... I'll make it so beautiful, that... no one will ever need to grow up...
ever again....
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Dominic... you're my birthday present... its when you're worth more then what the entire world can buy...when a day with you can pass in a flash... Its like a dream to just hold your hand and let the world pass buy..... December? December is not even an issue... I will love you beyond the end of time...
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
19-Year-Old (Emphasise - OLD)
haha!! Its my birthday today!!!!
lolz... Kinda nice for a birthday... at least I wasn't reminded like a million times that I am 19 years old.. =D
Went to Swensons today to celebrate with the class! Haha... We surprised Sharina by suddenly coming up with a fantastic chocolate ice-cream cake just when she arrived..
haha.. she was so touched she teared..
I'm really happy too... Its not often that I have so many people to celebrate my birthday with me together, but my class has always made my birthday bright and cheerful from the very day I knew them...
=)
Lol.. I wanna thank all those who remembered my birthday!
I think I won't really be able to list all the names, but I was really happy when I looked at my handphone this morning and it read "memory full, please delete messages to clear space for incoming messages"
haha.. for once, it didnt irritate me...
but there were some people I thought would remember my birthday, but didnt... while alot of those I havn't talked to for ages suddenly popped up on my handphone...
I guess its quite an irony... haha
I like my Gravitation prezzy the best though... haha... =)
I miss Dominic... I havn't seen him for so long...
It'll be my best birthday present if he'll just give me a hug...
*hugs*
lolz... Kinda nice for a birthday... at least I wasn't reminded like a million times that I am 19 years old.. =D
Went to Swensons today to celebrate with the class! Haha... We surprised Sharina by suddenly coming up with a fantastic chocolate ice-cream cake just when she arrived..
haha.. she was so touched she teared..
I'm really happy too... Its not often that I have so many people to celebrate my birthday with me together, but my class has always made my birthday bright and cheerful from the very day I knew them...
=)
Lol.. I wanna thank all those who remembered my birthday!
I think I won't really be able to list all the names, but I was really happy when I looked at my handphone this morning and it read "memory full, please delete messages to clear space for incoming messages"
haha.. for once, it didnt irritate me...
but there were some people I thought would remember my birthday, but didnt... while alot of those I havn't talked to for ages suddenly popped up on my handphone...
I guess its quite an irony... haha
I like my Gravitation prezzy the best though... haha... =)
I miss Dominic... I havn't seen him for so long...
It'll be my best birthday present if he'll just give me a hug...
*hugs*
Monday, May 01, 2006
Jeez!! I'm drowning in my grief of getting older...
I don't wanna get old
I don't wanna get old
I don't wanna get old!!!!!
nooo... *cries*
Happy birthday to me
I'm older then a tree
Worse then cheese that is mouldy
How happy can I be?
birthdays are suppose to be happy... well, I AM happy, coz lots of ppl remembered!
but..... it just reminds me how much more I have to grow up...
and.. I don't want to... *sobz*
I don't wanna get old
I don't wanna get old
I don't wanna get old!!!!!
nooo... *cries*
Happy birthday to me
I'm older then a tree
Worse then cheese that is mouldy
How happy can I be?
birthdays are suppose to be happy... well, I AM happy, coz lots of ppl remembered!
but..... it just reminds me how much more I have to grow up...
and.. I don't want to... *sobz*
Six Gravitation Comics!!
The more I read about Gravitation, the more I'm starting to think I'm really similar to Shuichi.... maybe thats why I am so attracted to that manga...
Like me, Shuichi has a typical "melancholic"/"Sanguine" personality... (the things you learn in Psychology and Counselling is quite useful)
According to what the traits of a melancholic person should have is
Positive :
Dependable, Sensitive, Analytical, Perfectionist, Self-Sacrificing, Gifted, Loyal/Faithful friend
Negative :
Introvert, Unsociable, Rigid, Moody, Suspicious, Pessimistic
Others :
Have wierd habits or traits
Ideal Careers :
Musician, artist, actor
According to what the traits of a sanguine person should have is
Positive :
Extrovert, Cheerful, Friendly, Talketive, Lively, Receptive, People-oriented
Negative :
Restless, Self-Centered, Trust feelings, Superficial, Childlike nature, Forgets past easily, Live for present
Others :
Can't really habour hatred
Ideal Careers :
Salesman, Real-estate agent
Apart from not being self-sacrificing, dependable, unsociable, rigid, people-oriented and living for the present, the rest of the traits pretty much describe me.
(author's note : I can be extrovert and introvert at the same time, it just depends on what time of the day it is, who I'm talking to, and whether I even feel like talking...)
But on the other hand, wouldn't a combination of jobs or a "musician" and a "salesman" be something like a music producer?
*grins* : That is soo my ideal job!
on another note...
*blink*
haha.. I'm like super happy... I've got six more gravitation comics! Super BIG thanks for RenJin, Xiao Wei mei mei, Brian, The Nobodies (Illango, Matthew, Jason, David), Hazel, Jeremy and Samuel!!
I really don't have a clue who else contributed.. but it must really cost a huge bomb...
Approx : $18+ x 6 = $108
and on top of that, 2 posters of Gravitation that cannot be found anywhere on this island of Singapore!!
I'm so happy!!! =D
omg, but the amount of money that it cost really blows my mind... its so ex!!
*hugglez* thanks sooo much!! =D
heez... I had a feeling that you all were going to buy me Gravitation stuffs.. but I never expected so much... I though it'll be like one book or a poster or something...
lol... beyond this stuffs, I'm really thankful that you all remembered my birthday.. =D
thanks soo much... *blinks out tears*
The first thing I'm going to do once I get to a printing shop is to laminate the posters... Can't afford to let this posters be ruined by awful humid weather conditions...
xD
*
oh yah.. where was I before I strayed from the original topic?
err... oh yah..
How I am like Shuichi *(note : this is unlike Sharina's imaginative "similarities" to Justin Timberlake and such *grins*)
Traits of Shuichi Shindo :
haha! the more I write the more it seems like he is actually me in another world...
ohh...
and please don't remind me I'm 19 years old..
i think i've got a phobia of that age...
I hate being reminded that I'm in my last year of being a teenager (the ideal period of time I want to be in)
bleah..
sucks awfully... to be getting old..
I feel a enfeebling wave of rheumatism, arteritist, dementia and hypertension threatening to overwhelm me...
save me..
hahaha =P
The weather was soo hot an hour ago when, but it has turned so cold suddenly.
=D
*hugglez*
To Dominic :
"True love occurs when your love for each other exceeds your need for each other"...
Don't try to carry all the burdens of your world on your shoulder yeah? Thats what I'm here for, to pick you up when you fall and carry you when you're down...
Even if all else fails, trust me... I'll still be there...
If destiny brought us together, it'll take a greater power to ever break us apart..
Death has never been an option for us inheriters of eternal life, but if you would allow the light of your life to extinguish, it'll engulf my world in darkness only..
I'm a guy yeah? so I'll fight for you...
I won't let a person who undermine you get away.
I've always loved you, and the love can only grow stronger...
Like me, Shuichi has a typical "melancholic"/"Sanguine" personality... (the things you learn in Psychology and Counselling is quite useful)
According to what the traits of a melancholic person should have is
Positive :
Dependable, Sensitive, Analytical, Perfectionist, Self-Sacrificing, Gifted, Loyal/Faithful friend
Negative :
Introvert, Unsociable, Rigid, Moody, Suspicious, Pessimistic
Others :
Have wierd habits or traits
Ideal Careers :
Musician, artist, actor
According to what the traits of a sanguine person should have is
Positive :
Extrovert, Cheerful, Friendly, Talketive, Lively, Receptive, People-oriented
Negative :
Restless, Self-Centered, Trust feelings, Superficial, Childlike nature, Forgets past easily, Live for present
Others :
Can't really habour hatred
Ideal Careers :
Salesman, Real-estate agent
Apart from not being self-sacrificing, dependable, unsociable, rigid, people-oriented and living for the present, the rest of the traits pretty much describe me.
(author's note : I can be extrovert and introvert at the same time, it just depends on what time of the day it is, who I'm talking to, and whether I even feel like talking...)
But on the other hand, wouldn't a combination of jobs or a "musician" and a "salesman" be something like a music producer?
*grins* : That is soo my ideal job!
on another note...
*blink*
haha.. I'm like super happy... I've got six more gravitation comics! Super BIG thanks for RenJin, Xiao Wei mei mei, Brian, The Nobodies (Illango, Matthew, Jason, David), Hazel, Jeremy and Samuel!!
I really don't have a clue who else contributed.. but it must really cost a huge bomb...
Approx : $18+ x 6 = $108
and on top of that, 2 posters of Gravitation that cannot be found anywhere on this island of Singapore!!
I'm so happy!!! =D
omg, but the amount of money that it cost really blows my mind... its so ex!!
*hugglez* thanks sooo much!! =D
heez... I had a feeling that you all were going to buy me Gravitation stuffs.. but I never expected so much... I though it'll be like one book or a poster or something...
lol... beyond this stuffs, I'm really thankful that you all remembered my birthday.. =D
thanks soo much... *blinks out tears*
The first thing I'm going to do once I get to a printing shop is to laminate the posters... Can't afford to let this posters be ruined by awful humid weather conditions...
xD
*
oh yah.. where was I before I strayed from the original topic?
err... oh yah..
How I am like Shuichi *(note : this is unlike Sharina's imaginative "similarities" to Justin Timberlake and such *grins*)
Traits of Shuichi Shindo :
- Plays the synthesizer
- Plays in a band
- His best friend(s) are in the band
- Gets moody very often
- Doesn't do well in school, not very well at least
- Goes crazy over a single person for a long period of time
- Has a few very close friends
- Suddenly shouts for no reason and become quiet at the next moment
- Likes guys (though he still can tell a cute girl from another)
- Is generally very confused
- Wears 2 layers of clothes! (one inner - a t-shirt, one outer - a jacket or a coat)
- Is very very loyal to the person he loves
- Has a kind of puppy-like affection to the person he loves
- Gets upset easily
- Quite good at using the computer
- His name "Shindo" has six letters ("Andrew" has six letters too)
haha! the more I write the more it seems like he is actually me in another world...
ohh...
and please don't remind me I'm 19 years old..
i think i've got a phobia of that age...
I hate being reminded that I'm in my last year of being a teenager (the ideal period of time I want to be in)
bleah..
sucks awfully... to be getting old..
I feel a enfeebling wave of rheumatism, arteritist, dementia and hypertension threatening to overwhelm me...
save me..
hahaha =P
The weather was soo hot an hour ago when, but it has turned so cold suddenly.
=D
*hugglez*
To Dominic :
"True love occurs when your love for each other exceeds your need for each other"...
Don't try to carry all the burdens of your world on your shoulder yeah? Thats what I'm here for, to pick you up when you fall and carry you when you're down...
Even if all else fails, trust me... I'll still be there...
If destiny brought us together, it'll take a greater power to ever break us apart..
Death has never been an option for us inheriters of eternal life, but if you would allow the light of your life to extinguish, it'll engulf my world in darkness only..
I'm a guy yeah? so I'll fight for you...
I won't let a person who undermine you get away.
I've always loved you, and the love can only grow stronger...
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